Brace yourselves; daycare is coming

Monday marks Ava's first day of daycare and I'm having that parental freak-out where you doubt everything ever.

Is it the right move for her?
Will she get enough attention?
What if she doesn't sleep?
Will she pick up bad habits from shitty kids?
Are the teachers going to be attentive enough?
Is she going to be freaked out by a new environment?
Will she feel abandoned?
WHAT AM I DOING?

I know.

I need to get ahold of myself.

Especially because this last week marked our "transition days" at daycare. Here's how it went:

TRANSITION DAY 1
I took Ava for 1 hour at the end of the day and hung out with her so she'd be comfortable. She crawled all over the classroom (away from me -- good sign), touched other kids' faces like a weirdo, tried to steal another baby's bottle, took 50 toys off the shelves and chewed on a rubber elephant. Success.

TRANSITION DAY 2
I took Ava for 1 hour in the morning, but hid out of sight for most of it. She was a little confused, which may be because of daycare or may be because it was the morning. She's out of it in the morning. She didn't crawl around as much. She mostly watched everything going on around her. Okay, then.

TRANSITION DAY 3
I took Ava for 2 hours in the morning and left her there. I. Was. Traumatized. I always thought it was so absurd when these mothers cried after dropping their kids off, but holy cow, I get it. I didn't cry, but I was instantly sad, for no reason. I work two blocks away for Christ's sake. But it just felt like I was dumping her and leaving her with strangers and weird kids and no dogs and oh no what have I done?

When I picked her up, she had just woken up from a nap. "Wait, MY kid napped?" I asked. She did indeed, along with the other children. A lovely 20-min power-nap in a cozy bouncer. The only time she cried was when she wanted her diaper changed, they said. I was shocked it went so well.

But Monday is a whole different ballgame. That's her first full day. I've already enlisted Dave to come with me so I don't lose my mind. I already got my webcam access rolling. I'm trying not to be a neurotic loon.

Please pray.