Thursday, February 14, 2013

Fake drinking like a pro

Pre-pregnancy, I was a drinker. Wine was typically my first choice, but I also enjoyed vodka, wheat beer, bloody marys and aviations. Didn't discriminate. Everyone knew this.

So, when I got pregnant, foregoing the alcohol wasn't going to be nearly as hard as keeping up the charade of drinking so my friends wouldn't suspect a thing -- and believe me, it sucked. Here's how I made it work...

Holiday party, 4 weeks pregnant. I filled an empty beer bottle with water and drank that all night. Periodically, I'd stop by the bathroom to refill it. "No, I don't want delicious champagne tonight. I'm good with this Hoegaarden."

Friend's birthday dinner, 8 weeks pregnant. I had wanted to show up to the dinner early and get a soda with lime, but it didn't happen. Instead, I ordered a ginger ale, to a chorus of, "What, are you pregnant??" I told them, god no, just too hungover to even look at wine. Much more believable, but I think suspicions lingered.

Work dinner, 9 weeks pregnant. I don't know about you, but my work dinners typically include a few bottles of wine. Since it was the New Year, I told them that my resolution was to not drink during the week. They praised my will power. I sulked into my water, especially when the waiter brought us free limoncello.

Dinner with Jessi, 11 weeks pregnant. Before the dinner, I warned Jessi that I originally had this resolution not to drink during the week anymore. She was totally on board... until we got to dinner.

Superbowl party, 11 weeks pregnant. Back to the classic beer-bottle-with-water scheme. What else do you drink during a football game?

And then, 12 weeks hit and we cut the crap. Most people know I'm pregnant now, but we're just waiting for some blood work to confirm that everything's okay before we announce it -- probably next week.

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