The baby wants you to chill out

If you've ever known a pregnant chick, you've probably heard her say, "The baby wants [abc]," or "The baby loves [xyz]!"

This? Is dumb.

I guess I've just always been one of those weirdos who gets (non-pregnancy) cravings and doesn't need an excuse to eat random things. All last year, I was on a big Cinnamon Toast Crunch kick. Around the summer months, I couldn't order food without getting fried pickles. More than a few times, I had a craving for soy sauce. All before becoming pregnant.

So, I have a hard time getting on board with the whole "The baby wants..." phenomenon. I don't think the baby has anything to do with it. You're a woman and you're hungry for something weird. I get it.

That said, since I'm kind of an asshole, I've started tell Dave what the baby wants.

"The baby wants to stop watching basketball."
"The baby wants you to turn up the heat."
"The baby wants to buy these shoes."

Needless to say, he has not been amused. The baby wants him to lighten up.