Future Lisa,
Yesterday, you found out you were pregnant.
Your first words, to Lindsay, were: IS THIS A FUCKING POSITIVE FUCKING PREGNANCY TEST? It was. And so were the many others you took that day. And the one this morning. You are not pleased.
By this time next year, you expect to be too tired and cranky and emotional to even read this letter, but maybe in 20 years from now, you'll return to it with some sanity.
Dave is terrified. He is at ILW right now, learning amazing things to make him an even more amazing consultant. With this timing, he will become an engagement manager when our little surprise is a few weeks old. Now, he isn't sure if he wants to be an EM. You are very sad that this has disrupted his plans.
As for your own plans, you work with a bunch of idiots, so you're hoping to quit full-time work and freelance for them instead, so you don't have to work with them so much. Who knows if it will work.
You are scared of balancing a baby with two dogs (one puppy) while your husband travels. You are scared of missing out on things with your friends. You are scared about having enough money. You are scared about having enough room at [apt. address]. You are scared something will be wrong with the baby. You are scared you won't really like the baby...
As of this moment, you're probably 4 or 5 weeks pregnant. You've had no symptoms. Except for a nagging feeling that maybe you were supposed to get your period last week (or was it this week?), you took a pregnancy test expecting the same results as always. When it looked positive -- who can even tell with those stupid little lines? -- you took another. And dipped one in water for comparison. Lines were still faint on the pee sticks, nonexistent on the water. So, you went to Walgreens and got two more tests. You took one, but the line was faint again. You took a digital and it said "YES+." You were hoping it meant "YES! YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT!" but it didn't. You took another digital test this morning. "Pregnant," it confirmed. You plan to take another test tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday just to be sure. Just in case, you've taken yourself off Lexapro.
You've wondering how you'll tell your families. You wonder how you'll tell Suz, since your due date will probably be just before her wedding. (You probably won't be in the wedding anymore.) You also haven't had a drink since you found out, though the wine in the fridge is calling your name.
Speaking of wine, you told Lindsay to get pregnant with you. Did she listen?
Well, that's that. It's less than a week before your 30th birthday, the world is supposed to end on Dec. 21 and you're knocked up. 2012 was quite the year. Let's hope 2013 was better.
Here I am one year later...
Baby Girl is a real human person, not a little blob on a sonogram. She smiles at me. Interacts. She's fucking adorable. I couldn't imagine not having her around.
Telling our families went well. We'd been married several years at that point, so they were probably desperate to have a new baby around anyway. Everyone was -- and is -- obsessed with her. It's been absolutely amazing to see them with her. Especially Dave's brother. So heartwarming, I swear.
I also left that job I didn't love. (The "idiots" I worked with were not a part of my Chicago team -- those folks rocked.) Regardless, I am now back working for my beloved OW. I won't leave again -- I mean, I've left more than a few times already and I still end up back there. It's fate, I tell you.
Dave was indeed promoted to EM this year. But the travel has taken a toll and now he's taking on a new role with less travel. (The travel he will do is international, for five days at a time, periodically -- not four days a week every week. It's a vast improvement.)
We also moved out of our two-bedroom apartment into a three-story, single-family home. It could use some work, but it's got a lot more room and we're no longer cramped. Best part? We're still in the city, just four blocks from our old place. Worst part? I can't see Lindsay by just walking up a flight of stairs.
Speaking of Linds, she isn't preggo yet, but she has finally warmed up to the idea. She'll be such a good mom. I should know -- she has always taken great care of me.
Overall, 2013 was pretty good. Sure, I wanted no part in being pregnant, pregnancy heartburn was awful and I almost died in childbirth, but we're in a good place right now. I love my kid and my job and, unwaveringly, my husband. We have a good home, great pups and even greater support from the families. We are truly blessed.
So, what will 2014 bring? Wishing for nothing but good health and manageable obstacles.
Happy New Year, kids.
No comments:
Post a Comment