After letting the pregnancy news soak in for a few days, Dave and I decided to tell our families about the GIGANTIC FREAKING CHANGE that was going to happen in seven months. Since I often Skype with my parents, we scheduled a Skype session under the guise of a post-Hanukkah, pre-Christmas catch-up.
Along with Mom and Dad, Grandma was over for a family dinner. Dave and I gathered at the computer and dialed.
We chatted for a few minutes before I said something like this:
"Well, we also wanted to Skype with you tonight to tell you something..."
Pause.
"I'm pregnant."
And then the computer froze.
At first, I thought it was just their reactions -- shock, I get it -- but nope. Damn thing just froze completely. Al burst out laughing. I blurted out obscenities. Dave tried to fix it.
A few seconds later, it was back. Dad was smiling, Mom's jaw was on the floor and Grandma was all crazed.
"I KNEW IT," she said. "I KNEW IT."
"You knew it?" I asked, thinking she was going to go off on some New Age tangent about sensing the pregnancy and just having this feeling.
"YES, I KNEW IT--"
"Grandma, stop," Alex warned.
Dave agreed, "Seriously, Grandma."
"NO, I KNEW IT ON THANKSGIVING--"
"Thanksgiving? Grandma, I wasn't pregnant on Thanksgiving," I told her.
"YEP, THANKSGIVING. I KNEW IT BECAUSE I SAW THAT YOU HAD A LITTLE BELLY."
Aaaaaand there it is.
"No, Grandma, that's beer," I corrected her.
"YES, YOU HAD A BELLY!"
"Um, yes, a beer belly, Grandma... A little help here, folks?"
And that's why you don't announce your pregnancy anywhere around happy hour.
gam gam...hilar
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